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Look
and listen |
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When you first go into a
BDSM online chatroom don't just dive right in and demand to be spanked
or covered in whipped cream. Take a little while to get the feel of the
conversations and whats going on |
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Dont
be afraid to ask questions |
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Most chatrooms have people
called 'operators' who run them. They should be friendly and they're there
to help you. Ask questions if you're unsure of whats going on or whats
expected of you. If they're not helpful, its a crap channel and you don't
want to be there anyway. Try another...there are lots. |
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Beware
bullshit |
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BDSM online chatrooms float
on a sea of bullshit. In BDSM/spanking rooms 99% of the people don't
know any more about it than you do. Don't ever be fooled into thinking
that anyone has a clue simply because his self-selected nickname starts
with "Sir" or "Master". With few exceptions, chatroom "Sirs" and "Masters"
are called Norman and live at home with their Mom and a pet gerbil called
Horace. They're none the worse for that, but just don't take them too seriously. |
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Do
as you would be done by |
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Because of the freedom and
anonymity of BDSM online chatrooms its tempting to think that normal standards
of kindness and decency don't apply. But always remember its real. There's
a real person behind each PC with real feelings just like yours. Try to
apply the... "would I like that done to me"... test. If you wouldn't, then
don't do it. Even if no-one else knows what you've done online, you do. |
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Be
sensible with personal information |
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Most people in BDSM online
chatroom are nice, ordinary, everyday folks just having a little fun. But
like anywhere else there are weirdo's. Get to know people well before you
give them access to your "real life" through your telephone number or address.
Beware instant 'best-friends'. |
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Watch
out for your heart |
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BDSM online chatrooms are
littered with broken hearts and ex-Doms and subs who swore it was forever.
The trouble with online chat is that you can get in very deep, very quickly.
Much more so than in "real-life". The vast majority of passionate
online Dom/sub love-affairs last a few months at the very most. Long
distance relationships are very hard . Only a tiny proportion of online
romances... very, very few... make the cross-over into "real life" and
have a fairy-tale ending. Take chances by all means, but be aware of the
odds. |
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Keep
a firm grip on reality |
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Much easier said than done.
The problem is that its not as easy to differentiate clearly between the
'online world' and "real life" as some people think. Everyone I've known
who's seriously thought about this has the same problem. Even in overtly
fantasy situations, real people with real feelings are involved. Bottom
line is that its always potentially more than "Just online chat" |
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Don't
put up with any crap |
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Wherever you go in BDSM
online chatrooms, you are entitled to receive the same kind of politeness
and consideration you'd expect in your daily life. No-one, whatever silly
nickname they use, has an automatic right to your respect or submission.
Both have to be earned or offered. So unless you particularly get off on
it, don't ever let anyone abuse you or humiliate you. You have the ultimate
power in your own hands. Its called the "off" switch and it makes the jerks
vanish into thin air. |
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Be
careful what you give away |
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Its tempting to think that
the world of online chat is 'just fantasy' and that nothing you do there
matters or has any consequences. For some that may be completely true,
but others could find themselves wishing they hadn't already given valuable
things away lightly. Your submission, for example, is a precious
gift. Be careful what you give away online because you just might
need it some day... |
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Have
fun |
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And finally .. if you're
going to give BDSM online chatrooms a whirl then you may just enjoy
the hell out of them. I certainly wouldn't recommend them to everyone.
I certainly wouldn't recommend that you immerse yourself in them to the
detriment of your real life. But if you're the right kind of person and
you hang onto your principles then you may just have found yourself a whole
new world ..:) |
