The dealer sort of smiled, not friendly, but content that things were going his way and not mine. "You say you ain't got enough money?" "Not exactly." "So then you do got enough money."

Just a little nod of the head let him know that I was in the game. Then I got a whiff of some quality dope coming from the room where he sent his 'boys'. "I see you like the good stuff." Reading me like a book. "And you want some." Just to remind me how desperate I was.

"How come a rich white girl like you ain't got no money?" Because of my youth and inexperience I said something dumb so he'd understand my plight. "My allowance has been dramatically reduced." I was coming from another world and it showed. "I see. Financial difficulties." Talking to me as if an allowance was tied to market rates.

"You could say that." "I just did." Then silence. He eyed me up and down. "We gonna have to figure something out so you can get what you want."

It almost sounded nice, as if he wanted to help me. "That would be great." He slowly yawned and said, "Oh, yeah, it gonna be great. You can count on that."

He looked me up and down. "You a virgin?" Instead of being insulted I was confused and confessed , "What do you mean?" "Whaddya mean, what-do-I-mean? You do know what a virgin is?" "Of course I do." "So then, are-you-a-virgin?"

It was like he had skipped a chapter of my diary. It wasn't like I could tell him to log on to bdsmcafe.com and read my life chapter by chapter. I said, "Not actually." He looked at me funny. "Not actually?" I shook my head to confirm what he said. He shook his head, too.

"So you have been fucked?" He could have said it nicer, but then my goal was to buy pot not to teach him manners. "Yes." "Yes, what?" I swallowed some air and said, "Yes, I have been fucked." "With a cock?" "I'm not too sure what you mean?"

He shook his head like a fly had gotten into it. "How can you not be too sure what I mean?" He thought I was the dumbest white girl, or that all white girls are dumb, especially pretty ones. So I tried again. "Yes, with a cock." "You sound you don't like it much." "Like what?" "Like sex."

I said, "Well, everybody likes sex." He, nodded, checked me over again. "I wants to know if you like sex?" I thought I had made myself clear, "Yes. I, I like sex." He went on, "You ain't embarrassed by it?"

Diary of a Rich Girl to be continued...