The icy wind penetrates my coat as I sit here in the pouring rain massaging my chapped blistered fingers. The spade is resting against my lap covered in the muddy earth which it has dug.

My heart aches and fills with dread as the thoughts of the last few weeks are still raw in my mind. I sink my head into my hands and sob pitifully as I recall those dreadful weeks and the destructive force of my mind as I let it free for the first time in my life with disastrous consequences.

I take you back now to the start of this horrific ordeal and the events that have led up to the horrifying predicament I now find myself in.

It was cold that evening, I remembered how the wind rustled around my body and I pulled my coat tighter around me keeping my hands inside my pockets. It was late and the subway was almost deserted as I entered. I remember seeing a group of youths which made me feel uncomfortable and I put my head down and hurried along down the poorly lit tunnel. As I got to the end where the steps started I noticed a poster on the wall, not a big one around a4 size it didn't stand out too much to the onlooker but the chains bordering the page made it stand out to me.

My wife was an airhostess and as such was never home. Our sex life was 'normal' to say the least that's when it happened which was rarely. I could never talk to her, I so wanted to tell her my feelings, my emotions all my desires and fantasies but as soon as I tried she'd say "your not on about sex again are you?" and that would put an end to that.

The poster read..

Darkest desires,
'Escort' agency for those of you with a wicked mind.
Then at the bottom of the page there was scrawled 'anything goes'

I ripped the poster off the wall and thrust it into my pocket and continued on my way home.

The house was empty and dark as usual, she wouldn't be back for a few weeks she was on some sort of training course. She used to phone me when she went away she would phone me everyday, sometimes more but this had diminished down to once a week if I was lucky.

I threw the scrawled piece of paper on the table and sat looking at it. I must have stared at it for hours. By the time I actuary picked the phone up I had memorised the number. I dialled carefully then hung up. What was I thinking of I was confused and felt disorientated so I went over to the cabinet and poured myself a whiskey. Sitting back at the table I drunk the shot and dialed again.

"Hello darkest desires, Tracey speaking, how may I be of service?"

I clammed up for a few seconds I didn't know what to say it felt so strange so absolutely wrong but at the same time so invigoratingly naughty it had to have been right.

"Hello" I stuttered "I was wondering what kind of service do you actually offer?"

"Well sir that depends entirely what your desires are" the ladies voice was low and sexy just the sound of her was turning me on.

"Do you do spanking?" I blurted out, for a few seconds I felt like a depraved sick pervert.

"Yes sir, we do things from the mild bottom spanking to full on tied gagged and whipped depending on what you actuary want"

"To be honest miss I've never really thought about it into those depths, in all honesty my fantasy is to have complete control, I want to scare her, treat her like she's my property" by this time my imagination was starting to run and everything id ever felt or ever wanted spilled out down the phone to a women id never met, I got the feeling she was listening as well. This was a new experience for me, someone listening to what I wanted for a change, I decided there and then I was going to make the most of this opportunity, what was the point in doing this unless I went the whole hog and got it out of my system. Maybe after this I could be a better husband and concentrate on my marriage.

"You sound like you're a special' client I have just the right match for you, her names Sarah she is experienced with dominant males and enjoys serving. Her extension number is 475 enter this into the phone now and you can chat with her"

"Thank you for your help Tracey goodbye" I dialled the extension number and the sexiest voice I had ever heard in my life answered the phone.

"Hello, my names Sarah how may I serve" the voice was so erotic I felt my trousers shift as I grew erect in an instant.

"I was given this" I stopped dead in my tracks I couldn't complete my sentence the words just wouldn't find their way out of my mouth.

"You have special requirements that is why you were passed onto me, anything goes sir you can't shock me" god she was just so deeply arousing I stuttered my next sentence out.

"I want to scare you, come into your hotel room and rape you tie you up and beat you I want to see the fear in your eyes and hear the pounding of your heart as you submit under my control" there I had said it, ok I felt like a total debauched arsehole but I'd said it now, if she didn't want to know she could hang up and never have to speak to me again.

"Yes sir I understand, and when would you like this to take place?" she asked. She seemed totally at ease with me and this served to boost my confidence.

"Next week sometime, if that's possible?" I asked putting a more masterful tone on.

"Yes sir, how about Tuesday at 8pm the master at arms hotel" she seemed to have things pretty much under control.

"Sounds great, erm how do I" I was stopped in my tracks again.

"You leave an envelope in the name of Sarah Collins with payment inside, £150 to be precise, you ask if there's a message for a Mr A Graham which will be your alias, I do not wish to know your name. There will a small envelope inside will be the room key. Do you have your own toys or would you like me to provide some?" she said so calmly it took me back a little.

"No, no I don't will I need some?" I answered rather pathetically.

"If you wish to tie me up you'll at least need rope I tell you what I'll leave a bag at reception for you under your alias inside ill put a selection of things just knock on the door of my room at 8.30 when you are changed and ready." She had everything sorted out, she was definitely good and had done this kind of thing before, It made me feel more at ease knowing I wasn't the only guy in the world who liked 'this sort of stuff'.

The week went dreadfully slow as it always does when you're waiting for one specific moment to arrive but it came eventually. I went to the reception and left the envelope with the young lady took my bag of goodies and went to her room.

Whilst in the lift I examined my goodie bag and to my amazement there were artifacts in there I hadn't got a clue what to do with, left to my imagination though I could visualise a few scenarios.

I gathered the things I was going to use and did as I had been told to knock twice wait 30 seconds then barge in locking the door behind me and began.

She screamed and headed towards the rear of the room, I was too quick for her I dove over the bed and grabbing her hair dragged her onto the bed. Wow she was feisty her legs were kicking madly into the air and it took me all my strength just to keep her on the bed let alone try and tie her down. I had to release one of her arms to reach for the rope and in that split second she evaded my grasp and headed towards the door calling out. This scared me I ran over as quickly as I could and slapped her face so hard it knocked her to the floor, she squinted her eyes evilly at me and went to bite my ankle, I felt her teeth cutting into the skin through my trousers and I kicked out trying to kick her off, she hit the bed with a thud. I walked up and stood between her legs so she couldn't shut them and slapped her again. This knocked her to the floor so I grabbed her and forced her back into her seating position. Reaching into my pocket I got the ball gag and rammed it into her mouth securing it tightly at the back that would muffle any sound she was going to make.

Grasping the rope from my other pocket I threaded it through the back of the gag and tied her hands to her head securely. How scared she looked now. She looked so innocent and so frightened.

I used the rest of the rope to secure her to the bed after dragging her up there by her hair.

Now I could take my time and strip her of her clothing. Carefully I unbuttoned her dress which was buttoned at the front right down. so it opened like a coat and ran my fingers over her belly touching and admiring her belly piercing I leaned over and tickled it with my tongue at first, then I put my teeth around it and tugged quite hard, not too hard but enough to get her attention. Running my fingers up to her bra I undid the catch at the front letting her breast hang out freely. I kissed and nibbled her breasts not too hard but hard enough to make her squirm.

I leant up to her head and whispered in her ear " are you scared yet?" she wriggled and writhed beneath me unable to answer because of the gag but the writhing was enough to assure me she was.

I took a small knife out of my pocket (this I had bought of my own accord) leaning in over her I cut her panties off, she looked so unequivocally frightened my penis instantly enlarged and started to burst out of my pants.
I could wait no longer I unzipped and let him fall out, her eyes widened as I crouched above her and slid him deep inside her.

I was so aroused it was over in moments, but I didn't care I was so satisfied I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes.

The door to the bathroom opened and to my surprise a tall man appeared. He walked over to Sarah and untied her then left the room again.

She sat up and shook her hair out. "Wow, I have to admit that was really good. are you sure you've never done this before?" I was just so gob smacked. I intended on leaving her tied and just disappearing but she seemed to have enjoyed it.

"I have never had a first timer who acted quiet like that, I hope you propose on booking me again I can't wait to see how you develop" she winked at me. I didn't have time to answer as the door opened and the man from before walked in carrying a tray with two glasses and a bottle of wine on.

"Thanks Charles, you know how I love a glass of white after seeing red" she said and winked at him. She turned and noticed the startled expression on my face.

"Surely you don't think I'd be alone in this business? Charles is my companion he watches from the camera there look on the ceiling" and pointed to a small camera mounted on the far wall "he keeps me safe from harm whilst letting me have my little pleasures and staying away from view" she laughed as she spoke and I knew then this was a smart women who knew what she wanted and went out of her way to get it. How I envied her.
We booked the same time same place for the following week. All week all I could think about was how she had tricked me, how her sweet gentle smile and her quivering frightful looks were all part of her play acting. I wanted to make the next time different, this occasion I really wanted to scare her, but how? How could I scare a woman who does this for a living? Then it hit me, the only time her eyes opened wide was when I pulled the knife out, It was something she was not expecting; maybe I could work on this.

When I got home I went to work straight on the net, looking up the toys used in 'bondage and scare games' some were really good but most were for the effect just aesthetic uses. I didn't deem any of them worthy of scaring her. As I was getting bored I came across a site about torture equipment they used in the 17th /18th century, this was it, this is exactly what I was looking for. I spent hours sifting through the pictures and descriptions printing them off. The following say I went shopping, the whole of the following week I called in sick and worked on making an ancient method of torture and shopping for the other things I had spotted that intrigued me enough to buy them.

The article of torture I had chosen was used in the 17th century I believe it was used on queen Joanna of Naples when her rein came to an abrupt end and she was taken prisoner.

It was called a wooden pear due to its shape, but nothing about this was either soft or juicy, two blocks of wood which had a screw like mount on the outside when fitted together looked like a pear, it was used to insert inside people either orally and where ever else it might fit. Then it was opened slowly by the screw, it was made in such a way that its sheer strength could if turned enough crack open the jaw bone of a prisoner or tear their insides open ferociously. The thought this was actually used many times on people in this manner overwhelmed me with intrigue and a desire to see its mechanical excellence in use.

I gathered my things together and made to the hotel around 7pm I wanted to watch them come, it gave me a feeling of power to know they didn't know I was watching them, then as before I picked up the room key. When I got the door though I decided not to knock, this time I was just going to enter and what an entrance I made.

'Bbang' the door thudded against the wall, literally knocking some of the plaster out, there she was standing near the window, this time she did looked shocked in fact she looked horrified, I slammed the door shut and locked it, she was still standing near the dressing table in-between the bed and the window, she looked so elegant in her little peach coloured slip. Her nipples were erect and peeping through, it was so obvious she was wearing nothing else.

I leaped over the bed and grabbed her, holding her shoulders tightly in my grasp I kissed her. The feel of her soft lips against mine drove me wild. She pushed her body slightly against mine and I could see the little smile creeping on her face when she saw I was aroused. This infuriated me she wasn't scared I felt like she was taunting me. The anger crept up inside of me till I could hold it in no longer and threw her violently onto the bed. grasping her hand in mine I took the cuffs out my pocket and slapped them on her wrist then to the bed so she was tethered but allowed some movement. I just wanted to watch her reaction.

She did look a little shocked but that wasn't the reaction I was looking for, I wanted her totally scared, utterly submissive and maybe a little look towards the camera I knew was there but no.

I got the rest of the cuffs out and tied her other arm to the opposite bar on the bed, and then I tied her feet to her outstretched arms, I knew how uncomfortable and vulnerable this would make her feel and watched closely for her reaction.

This time she did look a little scared this pleased me immensely, I stood up and slowly removed my belt from my trousers I lashed it against my palm once looking at her. She didn't squint until I came at her with full force and lashed her bare backside, the scream from her lips was insufferably tantalising and encouraged me, I hit her again and again, her bottom was so red and sore by now, I bent down to feel the raised red marks in her flesh, my whole body shudder as my fingers traced each one from one side of her buttocks to the other.

Then an evil thought crossed my mind, I stood up again and lashed her straight across her crotch making sure to catch her little bundle of nerves at the tip of crotch, this time she screamed out in such agony I saw tears forming in her eyes, a second time I lashed her just to watch her crying.

I leaned over her trembling body "If you can pee for me right now I will stop lashing your pale swollen skin" I whispered.

Immediately she thrust her buttocks into the air and I could see she was trying to pee with all her might, the total satisfaction I felt when I saw that long stream of hot pee running down the curves of her buttocks and her back onto the bed, soaking the sheets beneath her was indescribable.

I waited for her to stop before I produced my handy work and I lifted it up to her face,

"Do you know what this is?" I asked her,

"No sir I don't" she stuttered,

"It's a wooden pear; do you know what it is used for?" I asked,

"No sir" she said as she lay there trembling. That was it, the moment I'd wanted for so long, she was totally submissive and unequivocally under my control.

She watched intently as I started to insert it inside her as I opened it I could feel the torque on the screw as it got wider and wider pushing against her pelvic bone she must have been 10 cms at least and I could see her skin stretching as though it was going to tear.

I was evil but not that evil, I left it at that stage and mounted the bed slipping myself deep inside her ass, all that play had drove me wild and I needed to empty my sack. Getting around the pear was difficult but I was so wound up I would have climbed a mountain to cum at that stage.

I slumped back onto the bed totally satisfied as soon as I had Charles entered the room and untied her like before. I looked over at her a little afraid of what she going to say to me,"wow, now that was an amazing experience, I have never come so close before, you are progressing so fast" she said rubbing her swollen marked extremities.

"I'm glad I pleased you" I replied a little down hearted, I expected some sort of come back at least, but no she had enjoyed every second and was pushing me for more, how much further could I go, how much further could I push her. In pleasing her I had done nothing but totally disappointed myself.

That night I waited outside the hotel and watched them leaving. I followed them in my car and watched Charles drop her off at home. Now I knew where she lived.

I watched her through the window going about her life totally unaware I was there. This was my chance I thought, if I'm ever going to scare her, this could be my only chance.

I waited till I saw her go upstairs and tried the front door I had seen she hadn't locked it. Slipping the mask on I had bought for our session but never used I went gingerly up the stairs. As I got closer to the top I heard the bath running and could see her in the bathroom getting undressed.

I waited till she was in the bath before making my move, I darted into that room so quickly and pushed her head under the water. Now the reaction on her face was the one I had been looking for, she was truly scared. I dragged her out the bath by her hair and took her to her bedroom. Using the ropes I tied her down to the bed.
"Please, please Sir don't do this" she said in such a pitiful voice it almost tugged on my heart strings. Almost.
I took out the knife and ran it down her soapy naked skin, the tears in her eyes welling up as I went.

I ran the knife smoothly around her nipples, not enough to cut into her but enough to make her think I was. I didn't want to hurt her, I just wanted to make her think I would, it was the power of knowing I could.

I slid the knife gently down again to her crotch, touching and tapping the blade on her clit, how elegant she looked totally at my mercy. I had forgotten I hadn't any condoms on me I only took one to the session and I had used that. The thought struck me just as my groin started to twitch. Then the thought of what I was doing hit home, this was supposed to be fun a new experience not an insight into how cruel and evil I could be.
I left her tied there and left the house.

I ran home and picked up a spade and here I am, sitting in the mud in the pouring rain trying to bury everything about the last two weeks, my clothes the toys even the pear I had so lovingly hand made. Should I phone the police and tell them she's tied up? I hadn't even closed the door properly what if she really is being hurt. I had possibly destroyed the one person who ever understood me with my darkest desires.